Beginners Guide to Spanking Paddles & BDSM Sex Whips
Sexual spanking and impact play is a popular activity for couples who want to experiment with added sensory play to spice up the sex life. It's no secret that pain and pleasure mix well, and a little erotic kink goes a long way.
These BDSM toys are often used for discipline during dominant and submissive sex play, but all couples benefit from sex paddles not just those in deep fetish kink or master / slave role play sexual scenarios.
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Pretty much everyone has had a sexual fantasy about being dominated, punished or rough sex. It does not have to be hardcore or intense, just a little slap on the booty during sex play can liven it up and add a whole new dimension of erotic enticement to the sex life.
Trying a sex paddle or flogger whip is truly a saving grace for overly comfortable relationships where a repetitive sex life becomes too ordinary and dull. It happens, so we are here to offer new ideas on adding kink to sex. It's called vanilla BDSM, so we're not going crazy here, just exploring bondage and BDSM play as part of role play or foreplay.
How Common is Sexual Spanking?
You'll probably not be too shocked to hear that spanking paddles and BDSM sex whips are a common bondage sex toy in the average, ordinary couples collection. They are easy to use, cheap to buy and not too freaky so everyday people can enjoy playing with them.
Working for the past two decades as a sex coach, I've encouraged lovers to try an impact flogger whip or sex paddle – just a light tap is all that is needed to introduce impact play to enhance the sensory experience.
Erotic spanking is more popular than you think. Your accountant probably has a good silicone flogger alongside their collection of favorite sex toys and bondage equipment.
So leave extra space in your dildo and vibrator stash because you're about to add some BDSM whips, spanking crops, feather ticklers and sexual floggers to your repertoire.
Types of Spanking Toys & Tools
There are a few different types of spanking accessories that produce varying sensations. The best sex whips either produce “thuddy” or “stingy” impacts. These are the two most common descriptive terms that are used to differentiate the experience.
These are the most common types of whips and paddles for sexual spanking:
Spanking Paddle
What is a spanking paddle?
A spanking paddle is a single piece large rectangular implement that produces a sudden single thump when used for spanking.
Paddles spank pretty hard, so beginners may want to keep that in mind and let the impact be light or glancing (a spank from a angle, not straight-on).
A BDSM paddle is used to hit the buttocks over any other body part because of the large surface area that is makes contact with on the body. A paddle is too large to be used anywhere else, and may be risky to use elsewhere (don't worry, we'll touch on safety advice below).
Fun fact: The act of spanking a person with a paddle is known as "paddling".
What are Spanking Paddles Made From?
- Leather: Natural cowhide leather is a very common spanking paddle material. It is very durable and heavy allowing the dominant partner to really give a good, stiff whack to the submissive.
- Imitation leather: A more sustainable choice, PU leather is artificial leather polymer made of polyurethane, which is a type of plastic. It has the same impact, but it can be produced cheaper and no animal products are needed.
- Wood: Stylish and artistic, these are some of the most beautiful BDSM toys out there. Wood is intense and delivers a hard thump so this is a recommended choice for advanced users only.
Fun fact: Cheap BDSM paddles often have cardboard inside with a leather or vinyl coating over top. This keeps the production costs down significantly as pure leather paddles are very expensive.
Flogger Whip
What is a flogger whip?
A flogger is a whip with multiple tassels or strands that hang from a handle.
Fun fact: ”Flogger” is actually a broad term that originates from the word “Flagellation” which means flogging or whipping the human body with an implements such as a whip, crop or switch.
In the terms of sexual spanking however, a flogger whip will have several strands or tassles that hang from the handle. It delivers a more splayed pattern at it makes contact with the body and produces a stingy hit.
Flogger whips can be used to tickle and tease before the sudden spank, brush the tassles lightly over the skin and it feels like an erotic spanking tickler.
Flogger whips are excellent bondage toys for beginners often found in starter BDSM kits because they can be used gently as not to inflict too much pain, and the tickling feature is a real up-sell for couples who enjoy being creative in the bedroom.
What are Flogger Whips Made From?
- Silicone: Silicone floggers are really popular because the tassles are very durable and they are also super light and thin. You can tickler your lover by brushing it gently over their skin.
- Leather / Artificial leather: These thick and flat strands will lay flat onto the butt or body when whipped and have more impact and force. Leather makes an audible “cracking” sound when used.
- Rope: A sex flogger with long nylon ropes is the most vicious of them all. These are popular for serious punishment and a dominatrix's favorite BDSM accessory for putting their sub into place.
BDSM Crop
Why do couples use a BDSM whip?
The BDSM crop is similar to a riding crop for a horse, but these riding crops for humans are shorter since it does not need to be several feet log in order to reach the partner. Most BDSM crops are stout, no more than 12 inches long because it makes it easier to use in proximity.
BDSM cops are fun sex whips that come in a variety of shapes, not just the familiar rectangular riding crop. Some are hearts or spades. If you spank your lover hard enough, the shape of the sex crop and instant impact can even leave the mark on their skin which adds a high kink factor.
What are BDSM Crops Made From?
- Leather: The scent of leather is well known to enhance the senses and create a sense of animistic or primal sex between the couple.
- Silicone: Silicone BDSM crops are thick and heavy, since the world is moving to sustainable materials, these are quickly gaining favor over animal based leather sex crops.
- Feathers: The opposite end of the crop can have a pom-pom or bunch of feathers. This is to alternate between impact play and sensory play since our lover will never know what's coming net: pain or pleasure.
What is a Spanking Fetish?
Spanking is a fetish with a two sided appeal: Firstly it is enjoyed by people who find sexual pleasure in pain. Secondly, it heightens sexual arousal by casting each partner in the role of either dominant or submissive.
Jillian Keenan, freelance writer in New York City explains the root of the fetish from a physical standpoint: “Pain causes an endorphin rush, which can be pleasurable. The process also causes blood to rush to the pelvic region, which mimics sexual arousal.”
Sexual fantasies of control and punishment are very common. The person can be the top or the giver (the dominant rile) or the bottom or receiver (the submissive role). Some couples are switch meaning the reverse roles and each will pick one of the roles for a particular session. The next time, they may switch roles.
There is a deep emotional intimacy between couples who engage in this type of sexual fantasy. This is why you'll see spanking toys among the best BDSM toys for beginners. It goes far beyond just the physical aspect of being spanked with a paddle during sex.
Comparing Sex Paddles & Flogger Whips
As we have learned a flogger and paddle are different types of BDSM equipment. Of course in an ideal world we would have a BDSM toy box the size of a cabinet with a large range of bondage equipment and gear, but the reality is that we are often limited by budgetary concerns.
So if we have to choose just one, which should it be?
The paddle spanks with a sudden thwack, the flogger spanks with a splayed sting.
Think of a paddle like a boat paddle, one large area of impact. The flogger has numerous strands that spread out and crate a stinging sensation albeit in the same space as a paddle since the action of whipping the flogger causes the tassels to separate.
Flogging can start with tickling and teasing of the whip strands, so it is essentially more versatile.
Paddling is more of a dominant show and typical for punishment for sub/dom role play.
Best Paddles for Spanking
Curious first timers will enjoy our selection of bondage equipment and toys as they are all “vanilla” meaning not hardcore or scary. These are cheap because the best spanking paddles for beginners should not be expensive, especially if you're not even sure if this is something you'll be exploring more.
Sportsheets Loop Spanking Paddle
Sportsheets Loop Spanking Paddle is a dual layer loop style sex paddle, which means that a folded piece of artificial leather connects at the handle which differs from a traditional spanking paddle that is just 1 piece of material, the folded loop makes a loud crack when your lover is paddled as it collapses. This design not only enhances the sound, but also makes it lightweight compared to a traditional BDSM paddle so that beginners will enjoy the same loud cracking noise but without as much impact.
Key Features:
- Loop style makes a loud cracking sound even if not hit hard
- Vegan leather looks and feels like the real thing
- Deep red color has a sophisticated and serious look
- Wrist strap can be used to hang it up like a piece of artwork
Specifications:
| Total Length | 17 inches |
| Material | PU leather paddle, nylon wrist strap |
Sportsheets Square Spanking Paddle
Sportsheets Square Spanking Paddle is a short yet wide squeare shape that can be used in close distance. The short length makes it really easy for beginners to use while frolicking on the bed. You can bend your lover over your knee and whack them right there with minimal recoil required! Finger grooves along the handle not only provide a good grip but also add visual cues that enhance the overall styling of this high end yet budget friendly bondage gear accessory.
Key Features:
- Short and wide form is easy to use at close range
- Finger grooves are easy to grasp
- Deep red color has a sophisticated and serious look
- Wrist strap can be used to hang it up like a piece of artwork
Specifications:
| Total Length | 12 1/2 inches |
| Diameter | 4 3/4 inches |
| Material | PU leather paddle, nylon wrist strap |
Bitch Wooden BDSM Paddle
Sportsheets Square Spanking Paddle is made of wood with the word “bitch” is engraved into the middle all the way through so you can peek through and see out the other side. Each paddle is hand made and lacquer finished so every one is an individual piece of art. Beveled edges are nicely rounded and splinter-free. A hard paddling from a wood paddle for spanking is all your lover needs to get them to behave!
Key Features:
- Each paddle is hand made from wood
- The word “bitch” is engraved all the way through the wood
- Wood paddles will last a lifetime – never bending or creasing
- Wrist strap can be used to hang it up like a piece of artwork
Specifications:
| Total Length | 12 1/2 inches |
| Material | wood paddle, nylon wrist strap |
Heart Leather Spanking Paddle
Heart Leather Spanking Paddle is a traditional BDSM accessory made of genuine cowhide leather and features hearts sewn in under the top layer to remind you of the forbidden love. Not only that, but the 3D layer can leave the impression of hearts on your lovers buttocks when paddled hard enough. The large rectangular shape produces a loud slapping sound, leather just seems to have that extra loud crack when dolling out punishment.
Key Features:
- Made of real cowhide leather
- Perfect for the erotic Valentine's Day gift idea
- Inlaid heart pattern can leave a heart marks on the buttocks
- Our highest quality professional BDSM paddle
Specifications:
| Total Length | 12 inches |
| Material | cowhide leather paddle, nylon wrist strap |
How to Use a BDSM Paddle
Here are a few Sexpert tips straight from my BDSM guide for beginners on how to get the most enjoyment from impact play and BDSM paddling:
- Start by spanking lightly. This is akin to clit stimulation before penetrative sex – it gets the person warmed up in preparation for what's to come.
- Change up your positions. The typical “bending over the knee” is the most common spanking sex position because it carries the least risk. The fleshy buttocks are exposed and there is minimal concern about hitting the wrong place and causing injury.
- Don your role play costumes. Acting out a sexual fantasy with role play is a good way to enjoy sexual paddling. It enhances your storyline and gives you just cause for the spanking (for example, your student mis-behaved and needs to be punished).
- Explore different strokes. Straight down, glancing sideways blow, a light brush over the skin. Change it up so your lover won't know exactly what to expect next. Anticipation is highly erotic and arousing.
Pro Tip: When paddling, if you hit suddenly then lift the implement, it will feel more like a quick “smack” and produce more of a sting. If you hit and leave the implement in place, it will feel more like a “thud” and the sensation will linger until you lift it away.
Paddling Risks, Consent & Safewords
Before you begin exploring your sexual paddling fetish for the first time, here is some important safety advice and a few important guidelines to follow to make sure it is done safely:
- Never strike the joints, face, back or diaphragm area (the front of the body under the rib cage)
- Always use the flat part of the paddle. Never strike with the edges.
- Establish a safeword in advance in case S&M sex play gets too rough.
Safewords need to be agreed upon ahead of time. It is a good way to know when BDSM play is going too far and the receiver is in legitimate distress. The most common and widely known safeword is pineapple, but of course you and your partner are free to establish your own.
It's important to establish consent before BDSM. Both partners should agree who is dominant, who is submissive and draw an outline of what will be happening in your role play scenario.
