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How to Use a Dildo: Step by Step Instructions with Video

How to Use a Dildo: Step by Step Instructions with Video

Last Updated on April 3, 2024

The dildo is one of the most famous sex toys online. Even though there are many other styles that often provide stronger orgasms than a simple phallic shaped shaft recreating a man's erect penis, the dildo is still the classic, the traditional and often the first adult sex toy a woman will purchase.

Masturbating with just your fingers gets boring really quickly. As females, we like to fantasize about being penetrated. Sex with a studly lover is always in the forefront of our sexual fantasies. It's simply natural – the vagina enjoys the feeling of sex!

We feel sexually aroused and the muscles in the vagina soften and relax. We get wet. We crave stimulation. It's the natural erotic impulse to want to experience sexual intercourse.

That's why we love dildos so much. We can fulfill the secret naughty fantasy without needing to be in public. Buying from a sex shop inline is so discreet so we don't have to feel embarrassed about satisfying our erotic desires.

What Type of Dildo Should I Use?

We have a catalog full of sex toys for sale online, so where to start? Here are some of the best types of dildos that provide a good experience and are popular choices for re-creating penetrative sex during solo or partnered play:

  1. Real skin feel dildo - The most luxurious experience with warm skin like feeling skin. The finest in true realism.
  2. Realistic dildo like a penis - Pick your perfect likelife lover, a sturdy erect penis to satisfy you all night long. Budget friendly too!
  3. Small dildo for beginners – Slim & mini dildos are the perfect starting point for any beginner. A gentle, introductory experience.
  4. Dildo with a suction cup base – The flat suction dildo sticks to a wall or tub and the circular base fits perfectly in your hand like a built-in handle!
  5. Ejaculating dildo that squirts – Get wild with a realistic squirting dildo that cums. Add fake semen lube and explore a kinky side of sex play.
  6. Anal dildo for men – Guys use dildos for prostate stimulation. Check out our selection of male dildos for small curved dildos for him.

Another advantage of shopping for sex toys online is that customers have access to a wealth of information from the Sexperts. If you've ever wondered how to use a dildo, this users guide will provide techniques, instructions and tips on how to properly use yours for maximum enjoyment.

Before we begin, I'll divide the techniques based on the features of the product. The dildo instructions are not always the same, different features require different techniques. I have secrets and tips that are specific according to type. Check the table of contents to quickly jump to your favorite style. Learn the real dildo meaning to make sure we're on the same page here before the techniques fly!

How to Insert a Dildo


Inserting a Dildo
Spreading the labia helps with insertion.

The single most important tip to enhance comfort while inserting a dildo no matter the size, shape or feature is to apply personal lubricant. For instructions on how to apply lubricant, check the link to review my other publication on using lubricant with sex toys.

(I must add a quick note about cleanliness & hygiene. Cleaning your dildo is extremely important. Once the fun is done, check out the guide with cleaning tips to keep sexual enjoyment safe forever.)

  1. Thoroughly lubricate the head of your dildo.
  2. By twisting your hand, spread lube around the top half of the shaft.
  3. Apply lube to your finger and rim the vaginal opening.
  4. Add lubricant to the inner & outer labia.
  5. Spread the labia open with your index & middle fingers.
  6. Push the shaft in & out slowly to spread the moisture evenly.
  7. Alternatively, twisting the shaft with your hand also helps to ease it in.

Real Touch Dildo

Real Touch Dildo - $42

The finest beginner dildo without balls. Smooth skin like feeling surface is a touch of luxury in the bedroom.

6 Inch Dildo with Balls

6 Inch Dildo with Balls - $26

Modestly sized dildo with a perky, cute design and sticky suction cup. Adds fun to your sex life for low cost!

How to Use a Dildo – Video Tutorial

In the video tutorial I demonstrate the steps on how to insert followed by techniques on how to use a dildo. Personal preference always prevails – the real way to enjoy it properly is simply to do what feels best for YOU!

If you are a true first timer and don't know what does a dildo feel like, it's always prudent to start slowly. The rubber or silicone surface may feel different than a human lover. Glass is hard and smooth and highly erotic, but totally different feeling than sex with a man.

Here are a few pointers that may help you experience a powerful, satisfying orgasm while enjoying your dildo toy.

  • Think Rhythmically
    Move the toy in & out smooth and sensually. Think of erotic, passionate sex that starts out slow and builds up slowly as the body increases its sexual response. Increase thrusting motion as you feel more aroused.
  • Amplify the Movement
    While holding the base, “stir” the shaft in a wide circular motion. This encourages the inserted portion to massage firmly against the interior vagina walls and increases sensation. If the dildo has a curve, point the tip towards your G-Spot and jiggle it there.
  • Mushroom Head Provides the “Pop”
    Pull it out all the way and push it back in. This repeated motion amplifies the sensation of a mushroom head, or the feeling of sex with a circumcised penis beyond what you'll feel in real life.
  • Rub your Clitoris
    Most women require clitoral stimulation in addition to vaginal penetration to climax. Rub your clitoris in a circular motion while using your dildo. Press the clitoris firmly as arousal increases while thrusting it harder.

How to Masturbate with a Dildo

Masturbating with a dildo alone feels good, but often is not enough for a woman to reach the perfect orgasm. Add on a few more adult toys and create yourself the perfect recipe for amazing orgasms and intense pleasure.

The best way to achieve a happy ending is to add on clitoral stimulation. Check out the video demonstration that shows techniques on how to combine sex toy types to create a thrilling orgasm. More instructions on how to use sex toys can be found within my complete online library.

Getting yourself warmed up before sex with a small dildo toy is a common way for women to enjoy intercourse. If you experience vaginal dryness or low libido, masturbating with sex toys during foreplay is the perfect way to encourage a sexual response and increase arousal.

How to use a glass dildo
Use a bullet vibrator with your dildo for a mega intense orgasm.

Best sex toys to use with your dildo:

  1. Bullet Vibrators – My top favorite addition to sexual intercourse, vibrators & dildos. Nothing is better than a mini bullet vibrator, hands down.
  2. Nipple Suckers & Clamps – Don't forget this uber powerful the erogenous zone. Vibrating nipple suckers enhance your pleasure tenfold.
  3. Clit Suckers & Pumps – Clitoral suction combined with vaginal stimulation is a pro tip of the Sexperts. The clitoral pump is absolutely one to try!
  4. Female Arousal Gels – A tingling and stimulating nipple and clit gel creates heightened sensations by adding either a warming or cooling effect.
  5. Butt Plug – Anal play & dildo play go hand in hand. Use a beginner butt plug and experience the same stimulating effect. Any pressure back there enhances sexual pleasure, and butt plugs are hands free so you can play with your sex toys.

Instructions, Techniques & Tips According to Type:


How to use a suction cup dildo
Suction cups are a perfect built-in handle!

1. Suction Cup Dildos

How to use a suction cup dildo? It's not just for riding or mounting, it happens to be the perfect female sex toy with a built in handle! Hold it tightly, it fills your hand allowing the user the best maneuverability and handling compared to a dildo with a straight shaft.

Alternatively, press the suction cup against the palm of your hand and use that to shove it in. If you like dirty, naughty and voracious sex, choose a suction cup dildo it will be your best pick because it's easiest to use hard & fast. More suction cup dildo tips and the complete users guide can be found here!

Not interested in the exaggerated visual styling of a suction dildo? A dildo with balls carries this same benefit. You can hold the testicles and use it as a handle.


Major Dick Beginner Dildo

Major Dick Beginner Dildo - $24

Perfect first timers dildo with a budget friendly price tag. Realistic texture in an approachable, friendly size.

Gyrating Dildo Vibrator

Gyrating Dildo Vibrator - $68

Hang on for a wild ride! The rotating & gyrating dildo provides an you with an intense sexual experience.

2. Thrusting

The thrusting dildo has a shaft that extends and retracts as a battery powered vertical bearing moves within the shaft. Most also have clitoral stimulators attached to the device with a second motor that vibrates on the clitoris.

This style encompasses fully rounded female sexual stimulation so if you want to enjoy a good orgasm, you're eliminating the need to purchase a second device to masturbate with.

The toy's head rotates inside the vagina further increasing the massage so when the orgasm begins, the muscles are not only clenching around rotation but up and down thrusting too. It's quite the experience, to say the least.


3. Glass Dildos


How to use a glass dildo
Glass dildos are often double ended – a bonus!

Most glass dildos have two heads, so in theory, they are double headed or ended sex toys. Knowing this tidbit of information – insert both ends for contrasting experiences!

Glass dildos are great, the smooth sensation and heavy weight feel extra erotic. They are the only fully hypo allergenic option that can be fully sanitized and never harbor bacteria. They are also on the smaller side making them excellent choices for beginners hopping for a first time adult product for personal pleasure.


4. Strap on Dildos

When the love life is lacking excitement, enter the strap on dildo! When shopping at TheAdultToyShop.com, a couple can completely customize every feature and every detail they look for in a strap on dildo kit.

This is such a vast topic that I've published it's own instruction manual with tips and more. Click here to find out how to put on a strap on and how they work etc.


5. Double Dildos


How to use a Double Dildo
Best saved for couples playtime, 2 hands always required!

How to use a double dildo? The basis of this question comes from the fact that it's more than double the length of a traditional toy. Most measure 12 inches long, some even up to 18 inches long so the question arises from all that extra length hanging about.

How to use a double dildo properly? It's a two-hander! The floppy shaft bends quite easily, so you'll need 2 hands to hold it in place. My personal suggestion is that double ended toys are easier to use with your partner during foreplay instead of masturbating with alone.

They are not the most convenient for solo use simply because you'll need to bend over quite far for penetration. Save this one for kinky play with your partner on those freaky Friday nights and let them take charge of the toy.


6. Vibrating

The techniques for using a vibrator are the same as everything stated above, but the added variant with vibrators is when and how to activate the motor. My opinion is to keep it low and slow at first. Don't go running in guns blazing!

Use the vibration as part of your erotic journey. Most vibrators have multi speed settings, so keep it low and slowly; turn the dial to make the vibration stronger as your pleasure increases. Max out the intensity just before orgasm for a kinky treat to the senses.

If your vibrator has vibrating patterns and/or multiple functions, check them out beforehand and find a subtle pulse or roller coaster pattern during initial use, then switch to a quicker pulsing or highest speed setting just before climax begins.

Concerned about noise? Buy a waterproof vibrating dildo and use it in the shower. The running water will mask the sound. This is the best piece of advice for using a rabbit vibrator in a house with other residents is to bring it in the shower with you. (Dual motors equals more noise).


7. Huge & Large


How to use a Huge Dildo
Time for a challenge?

Size matters so when you're thinking of using a huge or large dildo with a thick dildo girth, it's important to take a few things into consideration in order to prevent skin from tearing upon entry.

Check out the large vibrator users guide with tips on how to safely insert a dildo with a thick shaft. As you can imagine, piling on the lube certainly helps.

If you're buying your first huge dildo, I suggest picking a real skin or similar that has a softer silicone surface because it's more comfortable to insert into the vagina. If you like the way it feels, then upgrade to rubber or something firmer to experience hard and fast sex.


Mayla's Favorite Dildos:


Where to Buy a Dildo

TheAdultToyShop.com is the premier online dildo store for women. You may call me bias for saying that, but I've worked for decades to provide more information and better products than you'll find anywhere else. If you wonder where to buy a dildo, you've come to the best shop to get a good one.

On a budget? Check out the list of cheap dildos for women. Sure we have a good selection of cheap adult novelties on sale, but inexpensive does not mean poor quality.

Only high quality well priced products get the distinction of being listed online for sale. You can even see how we measure sex toy to know the size you're buying. How to buy a dildo? Order discreetly online or call us to order over the phone. We hope to serve you soon and thanks so much for visiting!








Mayla Green

Mayla Green has been involved in the sex toy industry since 2004. Working behind the motto “Sex TOYS should be FUN”, Mayla provides unique tips & advice amassed from over a decade of hands on experience with adult products. She also coaches clients how to fully enjoy sexual pleasure and can be seen in major publications & magazines online.

Happily married since 2009, she knows firsthand how the sex life eventually becomes repetitive (which truthfully means boring), so if you're looking to spice things up in the bedroom, Mayla's your gal! Her literary pride & joy is covering topics for established couples needing inspiration to keep lovemaking exciting and fun.

Not in a relationship? Her other focus is teaching women how to properly handle the “little person in the canoe” to experience the best orgasms ever, no partner required! Her creative and innovative tips, techniques and advice is on par with a certified sex therapist or Sexologist, but with an extra advantage from her knowledge of the adult toy business.

View all articles published by Mayla Green exclusively for The Adult Toy Shop sex blog.

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